Adia,
Sometimes I worry about the world we have brought you into. I know we will do our very best to teach you how to be strong and survive, but even with all our teaching, I know you are bound to experience hurt. The hardest part about being a parent is that you can't protect your child from everything or everyone. Sometimes the people that cause the most hurt will be the people you have know for the longest time. And the way those people will hurt you is through gossip or rejection.
When you're a bit older, you will realize that Mom & Dad had only been married 6 months before you joined our family. But you had perfect timing, or rather, God had perfect timing. Some may have called me harsh names. Some may forever look at me completely different. Some may forever gossip about "the preacher's daughter", and I do mean forever. But that's totally A-OK because, as The Good Book says, "Let he without sin cast the first stone." And, just so you know, no one is without sin.
Some may say you were an accident or even a mistake. But it doesn't matter what they say. I can't say it was a mistake, because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. God knew exactly what he was doing. I'm not sure if I (or Memsie) would have made it through the grieving process of my Aunt Lib's death if it weren't for you.
I do feel as though I wear a scarlet letter when I'm around certain people. But, you know what? I've always loved the book and I wear this scarlet letter proudly. I will never be ashamed of loving your father and I will never be ashamed of having you.
Rumors and gossip will always exist. Just remember, the people who matter will love you unconditionally, no matter what is said about you or what you have done. I love you and you were put in my life at the exact moment you were meant to be. No matter how wrong one may consider it. Always walk with your head held high because only God can judge us and the only forgiveness that matters is His.
Hi Katie,
ReplyDeleteI came across this from facebook (hope you don't mind me commenting on it.) (I am Eddie's oldest cousin) I just wanted you to know that I was pregnant with my son Will same as you when I got married and I know exactly what you are talking about. I do definitely have regrets for not being "pure" when I married, but I am the same as you - so very thankful that my son was born of my and my husband's love. My oldest is now 13 and blesses my life every day. I know God is a forgiving God and through that I have learned of his unconditional love and mercy for me. I just want to tell you how thankful I am that Eddie has you as a wife and for the beautiful daughter he blessed you with. I wish you guys lived closer so we could actually get to know each other.
Suzanna,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for responding to my post. And thank you for sharing your story with me. It's always comforting to know that there's at least one person who understands and has no judgment. I'm glad you saw this! Your response brought tears to my eyes - thank you so much for your words. Even though we do live kinda far away, at least we can get to know each other a little through Facebook and blogs. You'll learn a lot through this blog haha. It's my way of venting sometimes so just a head's up! :)
Katie,
ReplyDeleteI can't claim to know exactly how you feel, but I do know the "talk" you're speaking about. It's not always easy when you don't follow the "right" path, or at least the path that everyone else considers "right".
In all honesty, I've never been part of the group (whatever the group is) and it used to bother me a lot. It bothers me very little now, which seems to bother other people a lot.
Anyway, don't ever let people make you feel as if you don't have every right to be proud of your family.
A couple of quotes that always make me feel better. :)
Sometimes the majority only means all the fools are on the same side.
Be who you are. Say what you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Sherri,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment! I'm doing better with all this. Writing this blog helped me work through it. What you say is true.. It does seem to bother other people when you realize you are happy without being labeled into a group. Life is much easier and less stressful too! And I love the quote about the majority are fools on the same side! haha. We've always thought alike on those kinda things :)
Katie,
ReplyDeleteHunter was born almost 4 months after her Dad and I were married. I was barely 18. I made alot of mistakes... she was not one of them. She taught me how to be a Mom and more about myself than anyone else. Hunter and Bryson are my greatest accomplishments. Some people will always judge and bring your faults to light. I found that even in the heartbreak of divorce... those people were still there, singing there songs of judgement. My heart ached for my children to have suffer through our divorce. I have now drawn a line in the sand with anyone who feels the need to speak on issues they don't know about in front of my children. I will protect their hearts at all costs. As Hunter becomes a teenager I know she will have more questions for me and I will have to answer for my actions... my prayer is that I can do that with honesty and wisdom. I can imagine that being the "preachers daughter" has put your private life in the spotlight.... my favorite quote to deal with people who gossip " People who live in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones." I have been blessed..I am now married to a wonderful man who loves them as his own. My kids are both Straight A students, they are smart, funny, and have have huge hearts. I look at all the awards they received at school this year for their "highest averages" and even more proudly their character awards... and think to all the naysayers, Eat your Hearts out :) the truth is those people don't matter...sooner or later someone or something will come along and shock them even more! And they will have something new to talk about. Hold your head high. Sounds to me like you are doing right by your daughter, I know your Mom and Dad are proud of the woman you have become.
Ashley Gates