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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Our Faded La-Z-Boy




 The La-Z-Boy was bought by your Papa and Memsie back in 1983.  It rocked your Uncle Adam first when he was just a baby, then it rocked me!  This chair helped our feelings stop hurting; helped heal our colds.  It relieved our fears after a bad nightmare.  It soothed us when we had a boo-boo.  It was our spot where Mom and Dad would rock our cares or sickness away.  When we grew older, it was our amusement ride.  We would try to rock the other out of it.  It was, basically, our jungle gym.

My parents gave me the chair when Papa got a new one, and I put it in my room. When your Daddy and I first starting dating, I would sit in this chair to write emails to him or to write in my journal about him. Then when Daddy and I got married we took it to our new home. I sat and rocked in it when I was pregnant with you. It was so relaxing to come home from work and recline my swollen legs up in the air to take a cat nap. I would sit in the chair and read to you while you were in my belly. I curled up (as much as I could at 39 weeks pregnant) and cried in this chair when Aunt Lib died.

When you were born, I would sit with you and rock you to sleep. When you would cry, we would rock while listening to music. I would rock you and sing lullabies after feeding you. I would look at you, with tears of joy and disbelief, while rocking you in this faded ole La-Z-Boy.

Now, when you're really sleepy you'll let us rock you in the chair. Mostly you are using it for your jungle gym now. But when you get a boo-boo you come to me; we sit in the chair and start rocking the hurt away.

This faded old recliner isn't much to look at, but it's a part of the family. When you look back at your baby photos and see it in pictures I'm sure your first thought will be, "what an ugly chair" or "why did my parents have that old, ratty looking chair when they could have a new one". This can go for anything in life, it doesn't matter what something or someone looks like, all that matters is how you feel when it comes to the object or person.  If I didn't have so many fond memories that involved this chair, then I would think it was ugly too.  But when I look at it, I see home and when I sit in it, I am home.  Just wanted you to know the history of the ugly chair you will be seeing in many pictures through the years.  

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Aunt Lib, Your Namesake

Adia,

I cannot believe you have been out of the womb for over a year now.  Time moves faster the older you get. When you are in school, especially middle through high school, you will think time is going by at such a slow pace.  In fact, you may even question whether the Earth is still turning!  But as slow as you will think time is dragging, that's how fast I will think time is flying.  I wish I could freeze time at any moment, just to soak up the memories.  And I wish I could go back to any point in time to relive some memories.

Memories are so precious because no matter how many material things come and go, or how many people live and die; memories can't be taken away.  Some of my dearest memories of my childhood involve the trips to Upstate South Carolina to visit my Aunt Lib.  She was more like a Grandmother to me and I wish so badly to take you back in time so you could meet her.  After all, she is the amazing woman I named you after.

My Aunt Lib's real name was Elizabeth.  No words will ever be able to describe the person she was, but I will try to put down in words how important she was to me.

Aunt Lib was my mom's oldest sister.  When Memsie was 17, her mom died.  And just a few years later her dad died.  So, all my mom had were her siblings.  Aunt Lib stepped into the mom role in Memsie's life. Memsie was extremely close to Aunt Lib, so naturally I became very close to her as well.  Aunt Lib would always say I was like a daughter to her.

I never doubted that she loved me unconditionally.  She never forgot my birthday.  Even though she hardly had any extra money, she would always send me something.  She would let me come stay with her for a week during the summer when I was a child.  I remember those summers like they happened yesterday.  She would tell me stories of the Stephens' side of the family.  I loved hearing about my grandparents that I never met. When we would go out on a drive somewhere, she would always let me hold the stirring wheel so I could "drive".  And if I ever happened to be visiting her on a Saturday morning, we would go get a Hardee's Chicken Biscuit and a Coke.  Visiting her was like being in a different world, a perfect world.  When I would leave to go back home to Florence, she would hug me so hard it hurt.  And she would say, "I love you, my Katie Boo."

Gosh, I miss so many things about her.  The things I miss most are her hugs, her laugh, and the way she made me feel like I was someone so special.  I could be talking about the most ridiculous and stupid things, yet she would listen with her full attention on me.  She had a way of building up my self esteem.  She never thought of herself first at any point in her life.  She did so many things in her community and so many people respected her and thought so highly of her.  She was not soft spoken by any means, and if you did or said something she didn't like, she would definitely let you know.  I think that's why so many people liked her.  She was a true, honest person and that's really hard to find these days.

The Saturday morning Hardee's tradition continued until she was no longer able to eat the chicken biscuits anymore because of her pain.  And the hugs continued until her strength weakened.  I can't eat Hardee's chicken biscuits again yet.  And I miss those hugs, desperately.

Aunt Lib was diagnosed with cancer.  We had great faith that she would surely be able to beat the cancer. She is by far the strongest woman I have ever known.  She would go through some bad months and then she'd start doing better.  But, I guess, God wanted her to be closer to Him.  I was so angry when she died. I cried out to God to ask him, "Why now? She suffered all these years and you take her the week before my baby is born?"  I was so angry that she wasn't able to meet you at least once. She was so excited for me and she couldn't wait to see you.  She was happy to finally have something to look forward to.  I still don't understand why the timing was the way it was, but I'm not angry at God. I'm just sad when I think about it.

Shortly after you were born, I was watching some show on TV and a lady said she believed that one soul from a family must die, so another one could be born into that family.  I'm not sure if I like that saying or not. But it somehow made me feel better because I already see so much of her in you. You have her face and her spirit.  I think I will have my hands full for the rest of my life trying to keep up with you.  But I will love every minute of it.  Nothing could make me prouder than if you were just like your Great Aunt Lib.. She was an all-around amazing woman and as soon as I knew the baby in my womb was a girl, I knew exactly what your middle name was going to be... Elizabeth.

I love you Adia Elizabeth!!